Flashbacks and Memories:
1. One school day afternoon, 2 years ago, while me, my mom and my dad are having our afternoon snack at Via Mare my dad and I started a conversation that went like this:
Dad: "How many
years before you finish college?"
Me: "3 and a half and I'm on my 3rd already."
Dad: "So, you should get a high paying job after that. Your tuition fee is so expensive. Don't tell me you're going to have a job that pays minimum." (jokingly)
Me: "Of course not Daddy. When I get a job, what do you want me to buy you? A new car? A new house? A Caribbean cruise? A new Cartier? A new LV? Tell me." (smiling and half-joking)
Dad: "Nah, just buy me a new Rolex."
Me: "Just a Rolex? Okay, that's easy. Kayang-kaya!" (laughing)
Why am I sharing this conversation? Because, last night I had a dream and it was about my promised Rolex to my Dad. I can't remember clearly how my dream went but I remember my Dad reminding me about it. That's clearly a
sign that I should get a job already if I want
to save enough money to buy him that watch. Of course he is not around to wear it but maybe I'll give it to my brother instead.
Anyway, after lunch today I went to the cemetery and visited my Dad's grave. I told him that I didn't forget that promise and I would keep it and save for it. It's the first and last promise I made him (other than finishing college) and I'm going to keep it! It's nothing compared to all the hard work and the love that he gave me and my siblings.
2. I'm having quite an emotional meltdown because of all the things
and people that I keep missing.
My friends, my school and going to school, the way life used to be for me, my Dad and I also have to handle the stress and pressure of landing on a job by the end
of February. It's overwhelming that I am already turning 22 this year and I have to
work already and earn and save up. This is real life slapping me in the face telling me that I should stand up on my own and that my parents wouldn't be around long enough to still cradle me and provide for everything I need and want in life. There are just too much realizations for me to handle all at once.
3. I remember Bar Management class in College.
Especially the Barlab class where we get to drink beer, vodka, cocktails, brandy, and all the other alcoholic drinks you
could think of. Of course we are excused and Bar classes are mostly the last class that's available in our schedule so as to avoid attending other classes drunk and tipsy to pay attention to the lecture. It was always a fun class to attend to. I don't think I ever cut that subject. Okay, maybe just one time.
4. I miss being carefree. Where I don't have to worry about adult stuffs like monthly bills and going to work and making ends meet.
Where I only think about final exams, recitations and course card distributions as my MAJOR problems. I miss cramming for the deadlines and having a good laugh about it with my friends. I miss getting high grades.
I miss how everything were. I just miss everything.