Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Tuesday/Wednesday Thought.

"There are just some things and/or some people that will be hard for you to let go of. You know how the song "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday" goes? It's 101% true."
-Mara de Guzman

I had quite a productive day than my usual yesterday, I have gone to two banks in different locations plus I was able to visit my Dad before heading home. That's when the above thought occurred to me, while I was having my Dad's grave cleaned up by some old man I unintentionally cried. At first I was just talking to my Dad, telling him stories, sharing my happy moments and my current problem and then when I was saying "I miss you Daddy-o", my voice cracked and I was crying. I realized how much I am still not over the fact that my Dad is gone. Sure, I miss him every single day, I miss hugging him, calling him and saying "hola! what's up Daddy?", and how less difficult life was when he was still with us. But visiting him there in the cemetery, it's like adding fuel to the fire or something.

Admit it. Whether you are a sentimental person who keeps candy wrappers given by your crush or not, the above thought still applies. Yes? No?

4 comments on "Tuesday/Wednesday Thought."

fedhz on October 8, 2009 at 6:01 AM said...

My cousin died in our house, in my room, on my bed. She chose to die there. She lived in the province but asked her mom to go to my mother. She's like a sister to us. She lived with us when I was young (she's like my nanny) and I can't stand looking at her when she was dragging herself on the floor to walk. She had an unknown disease.

She was very delirious the very night that she was to say goodbye. She was like a different person. It pains me to see her like that. Up until now I cannot accept that she's gone. The pain will always be here and the thought that her mom gave her up. Her mom covered her mouth when she was grasping for air, until she died.

the pain is excruciating. I cannot bear any more loss.

Ranran on October 8, 2009 at 11:03 AM said...

Grabe nattouch talaga ako sa stories mo about you and your Dad. Please tell more. :-) I'm sure di lang ako ang naiinspire.

bambie on October 8, 2009 at 7:34 PM said...

I think daughters forge such an unusual bond with their fathers. Even if we're innately close to our moms, iba pa din yun bond with our dads. It's never easy letting go. At least you were able to store up precious memories of you and your dad.

Maria @ Conversations with Moms on October 8, 2009 at 11:15 PM said...

This is so true and absolutely normal. Your Dad was and is a huge part of your life.

Visiting him and writing about him will always keep him alive in you.


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