Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Tuesday Thought.

"I need to psych up more and focus! I'm losing hope and I think that's what's worse than having no job... losing hope."
-Mara de Guzman

Some good quotations about Hope (or at least those that applies to me):

George Bernard Shaw: "He who has never hoped can never despair."

Erik Erikson: "Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the stage of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even when confidence is ruined, trust impaired."

Winston Churchill: "The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."

So much for me being proactive in the past weeks. I tried. You guys know I tried, right? I tried HARD.
Today however, I will give in and let out my frustrations... yet again. SORRY! I know I've been going on and on about me having difficulties landing a job, on and on about my financial constraints and then on and on about finally psyching myself up, feeling all happy like I have finally made peace with my worries but then... there are days like today. Today, where I am at a low point again and what's worse is that I actually have something to look forward to because I got an online stint which will help me pay and save up. Yesterday, I was feeling motivated. I went and apply to 3 companies again feeling high (in a natural good way) and hopeful then today I woke up feeling anxious, frustrated, confused and LOST.

Sorry, I'm bipolar.

I'll make it up tomorrow, hopefully! :) :) :) :)

I think I'm going to start doing my scheduled posts days or even a week in advance to prepare for my online stint schedule for this month. I think that's part of my feeling anxious. I worry too much. I'm having a cup of coffee right now and it's helping a little.

6 comments on "Tuesday Thought."

Maria @ Conversations with Moms on November 4, 2009 at 11:33 AM said...

Mara...don't give up on yourself. You will find a solution soon. Just keep up the great spirit and your rewards will come.

Mara on November 4, 2009 at 11:40 AM said...

@Maria: Thank you Mommy Maria. :) I just have to constantly remind myself to keep my mindset straight I guess. This online stint I got is a blessing somehow and I just have to FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS. ;)

Jude on November 5, 2009 at 1:00 AM said...

I hope all is going well for you. My Son was Bipolar also so I certainly understand what you go through. Take care.

Mara on November 5, 2009 at 6:10 PM said...

@Jude: Thank you! I appreciate comments like these. It keeps me on track somehow. It''s just a little difficult to be feeling completely happy today and totally down the next.

pehpot on November 6, 2009 at 7:32 AM said...

You can do it Mara.. take one step at a time.. for sure pressured ka in all aspects... try focusing on finding a real job first pero I know how hard it is to leave the online world.. ang hirap ng dalawa mundo no..

sali ka na lang muna sa contest ni fedhz hehe sabihin mo referred kita LOL

Mara on November 6, 2009 at 10:07 AM said...

@Pehpot: Thank you Ate Peh. Pero I don't think magfofocus ako ulit sa paghahanap ng "real" work kasi parang sayang oras ko eh, nagaapply apply padin naman ako pero hindi na sobrang f n f. Haha! Kasi nafrufrustrate lang ako eh. So far, okay ang online life ko. ;) Parang totoong work ang nalandingan ko. Kaya okay na din.


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