My Game Plan.

You friends know that I am sort of in a financial "crisis" right now and I am so upset, worried and frustrated about it. I have a lot of things going on right now even when in actuality, I am unemployed and mostly just at home. I feel exhausted thinking about ways to solve my problem without asking my Mom who is a thousand miles away and make her worry too. I want to spare her my problem because I know she has a lot of worries too (she pays for ALL the bills and other expenses here at home). The only help that I could give her right now is to NOT add up to her problems.

During my being on "house arrest" for about 2 weeks now, I came up with a game plan. No more worrying too much. No more thinking about the problems too much. No more too much wallowing in self pity. No more too much. I would focus MORE on the things that I can control.

I have got to do something more productive while waiting for things to turn around for me.

• Arrange my pre-employment requirements (SSS, NBI clearance, TIN #, etc.). I think it's only proper that I have them already since I graduated more than a year ago.
• Get an EON card at Union Bank for my PayPal transactions.
• "Improve" my online opportunities.
• Continue to apply for a job.
• Take things easy. Although my friends can't expect me to be as happy, spontaneous and as available as before. It's still hard not to worry about this kind of thing.

Hmm. I hope this is effective. It's the end of another week and I can start feeling better NOW. I will try my hardest.

To LEVY: No, it's not about credit card but it IS about a debt that I have.

For those willing to lend me whatever amount you can leave me a comment here.

Also, follow me on Twitter too. :)

Much thanks!

So, I am financially challenged.

"I just need something to happen, I need a sign that things are going to change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope! And in the abscence of hope, I need to stay in bed and feel like I'm going to die today."

-Meredith Grey (Grey's Anatomy)

FYI, I am not suicidal or anything. I am just feeling this quote so much and it suits my sentiments exactly. Figuratively and literally, I mostly stayed in bed today feeling so down and problematic, a lot of things that I am worrying about. I just played FarmVille on Facebook and did a Sex and the City marathon the entire afternoon.

My shameless asking for donations (which I promise to pay back) still stands and no, I am not kidding. A dollar, two, five, ten, twenty, thirty, whatever amount you can lend me, I would be forever grateful and I WILL pay it back. I don't know how to put up the "donate" PayPal badge here so you can just leave a comment here or check out my profile for my e-mail (also my PayPal) address.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I am one desperate Tweeter.

Yup. I gave in and signed up for a Twitter account and now I am officially a Tweeter. It has been a almost a week since I finally decided to tweet and I have about 20 followers and several followings to this day.

Like any first timers, I didn't know what to do after I signed up. I don't know how it works. But after a few hours of tinkering and searching for celebrities and friends to follow and after posting my first tweet, I sort of got "addicted" to tweeting and replying to tweets and now I already have an idea on how Twitter goes and works. It is actually fun once you get the hang of it. Dang, now I have another addition to my uber busy DAILY online life:

• blogging, dropping, clicking, reading, commenting, browsing, chatting, facebook-ing, uploading, updating and watching.

I cannot believe I do that much in less than 24 hours.

On another topic, do you guys know what I realized just now? I realized I am living two different lives/personalities; my real life and my online life. I am not saying that either one is not real, both are but when I go online and start to blog I try not to dwell much on my problems. I try to sound less sad and more happy than I really am (yes, all my Friday Frustrations posts are already LESS sad).

Like today, I did something for the first time in my entire life. I texted my friend and asked if I could borrow some money and that I will pay her once I get my payment from Adgitize. I NEVER borrow money from friends, not any amount above P50 ($1) anyway. I am so desperate I want to ask monetary donations and post it as my status in Facebook, tweet it on Twitter and post about it as an entry here. It is not for personal leisure use (not mainly).

I would just pay up my debt to my brother (cos I "borrowed" a few thousand pesos to pay up my disconnected phone bill and buy meds after I got out of the hospital). That is my number one ultimate major problem right now because he is already asking for his money so that he could pay up his dentist. You see what I mean? So I swallowed my pride and asked a friend who replied a few minutes ago that she'll see what she can do, meaning still not sure. I need help guys! If you could spare me some, I promise to note it down, save your info and pay the amount back to you early next year. I would forever be grateful and sorry for the desperation.

To end this entry on a lighter note, please please please Follow Me on Twitter. I promise there's less, if not no drama tweets from me there! :)

Hugs!

Entrecard and Adgitize Problem?

Is it just me or is anyone else experiencing the same thing?

I tried doing my EC dropping and Adgitize clicks when I got home from my job interview earlier this afternoon. I started with my EC drops inbox, I clicked on one widget and the page loaded slow and the EC widget on the blog doesn't appear. I tried clicking on the Publishers not Viewed in Adgitize and the same thing happens although there are also several blogs that fully loads, mostly don't. When the Adgitize ads appear, the EC widget doesn't and vice versa. Ugh!

I checked my connection and every thing is working well. All the websites I go to loads perfectly well and fast too except for the blogs that I visit. I tried typing the URL directly instead of clicking on their ads still with no luck.

What's going in here? Anyone?

F.M.L.

...is exactly what I'm feeling right now.

F My Life.

I don't mean to sound bitter or anti-life or anything like that. I just need to vent out a little. I feel stressed out. I had a hard time falling asleep last night and when I woke up this morning, the first message I read on my cellphone is from my service provider informing me that they temporarily disconnected my outgoing calls and messages due to my overdue balance, and then I realized that I owe someone a little too much of an amount and to top it all, I still haven't heard from any company that I have applied in for the past couple of weeks. Seriously. I need a job! 

There's no food in the pantry.

No food in the refrigerator.

We pay bills a day or two late (which never happened before).

My phone line's cut.

We buy things (literally every thing) individually.

We haven't shopped for food or clothes in a while and I only have a week's supply of wearable underwear and clothes.

I am admitting that I am ZERO.

Broke.

Bankrupt.

I can't breathe.

I didn't do good in my online "work" either since I was sick for more than a week and I've gone MIA and I need to rest. Oh please. I need my earnings from CIAO. I need to reach payout in myLot. I need to reach payout in Adgitize. I need to receive my CashOut from Adgitize. I need to sell some old stuff. I need to have a job. I need MONEY.

I am being honest here and I'm sorry if this post seems too materialistic. This is just reality. I am not asking for too much. All I want is enough money to pay the bills, buy food, pay my little debt and have a little extra breathing amount on the side.

Work. Breathe. Money. Breathe. Bills. Breathe. Live. Breathe.