All Souls' Day.

November 2, All Souls' Day and I went earlier today to visit my Dad.

I miss him every single day.

I posted this video on my Facebook page and thought that I should also share it here with you guys. This is a very sweet, sad and timely video for this "occasion".

My Dad didn't allow me to ride a bike so I don't know how.

My Dad won't be able to walk me down the aisle when I get married.

And I wasn't there with him when he breathe his last breath.

But I cried watching this video. I cried for the times that did not happen and would not happen anymore.

I cried because I wasn't there to say "you can let go now, Daddy" but I think it was much okay that way because

I know I wouldn't have the strength to say it to him.

I cried because I'm still not okay. I cried because even though Daddy didn't teach me how to ride a bike, he taught

me how to carry myself. He may not be able to walk me down the aisle but he was there walking down the aisle with

me during my grade school and high school graduation and it broke my heart that he was 5 months gone before my college graduation.

My one frustration is that I didn't get to hug and kiss him one last time. That is what's breaking my heart until now.

I love you Daddy.

Happy Birthday Daddy Dearest!

April 07, 1933-September 03, 2007

Happy happy birthday my Daddy dearest! I wish you are still here with us. I miss you every day! I still cry every night missing your presence, kissing your cheeks and forehead, clinging on to your arm, hugging you from the waist, and calling you "DADDY!" out loud. :) I miss your smiles and laughters, hearing your voice, your stories about the old days, sharing your opinions about almost any thing and voicing out sarcastic remarks that are most of the time hilarious. I miss the way you spoil all 9 of us although you deny that you do. I miss having lunch, merienda and dinner with you. I miss how you always say "Don't sit on the floor" every time you see me doing an indian sit. I miss the times you ask me how my day was, what's new and other stories about my friends. I miss YOU and I love you! 

And I know you're worried about us down here (I'm 100% sure you are) but don't be. We can handle things and we're trying to do good just like what you wanted us to do. As much as I am sad that you've passed away unexpectedly, I feel somewhat happy that at least you're not feeling any pain any more and that your suffering has ended. That is the only thing that is making things acceptable for me. 

I'll see you in my dreams again Daddy-o!

Lovelove,

Marapotpot :)

Today's Emotion.

I woke up not feeling joyous today. It's not like there's something to be joyful or excited about or that I wake up every morning with a smile on my face. This morning I feel... different. Empty and sad. Not my usual morning grumpiness.

Then I realized why. I acknowledged why. I accepted why I'm feeling this way. It started the other day and I paid it no mind that's why maybe it tolled on me today.

I MISS MY DAD. 

This is gonna be the second Christmas since his passing and it's still hard.

That's all I could say.

I miss you Daddy!

I am missing my Daddy so much.

I just got home from the cemetery and the weather is so weird. I left the house cloudy and when I got to my Dad's place it was already sunny. As in the sun's up bright and it was effin hot!

There were flowers from Mayor and Chairman Abalos, roses via our "garden" at home and my 2 sisters brought some flower arrangements also. Candles were also lit. I think I saw about 6 when I arrived and there were 2 newly lit ones before my mom and I left.

I miss my Daddy sooooo much! I don't usually go to cemeteries cos there's really no one to visit except for my grandfather's in the province whom I haven't met and 1 cousin of mine in North Cemetery but well, last and this year and the years to come would be a little "something to look forward to" cos it's my Dad. Darn. I miss you Daddy!

missing her Daddy so much,

Mara